Author: fourevermuzik

Story URL: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/21678/playing-games-oneshot-jonghyun-oneshot-shinee-taemin-you

Reviewer: Silence113

Title: 2/5

Your title is very plain Jane. It is relevant to the story, but it doesn’t really intrigue me in anyway.

Forewords: 7/10

The forewords, short and simple. I like the fact that you teased a little bit with the mini dialogue. You didn’t reveal too much of the story.

Originality/Creativity: 8/10

So far, I’ve never really come across a story like this before. Initially I thought it was just a truth or dare game where they kiss as a dare, then they fall in love. But I didn’t really expect all this!

Flow: 13/15

It made sense, having the game being played in one day only. But I felt that the development of the relationship between the two was a little too fast for me. I wanted her to play hard to get more!

Plot: 13/15

I absolutely loved your plot! It’s so cute! Especially the part where she teased him at the end. The whole plot was very sweet, with a hint of funny bits here and there. Which is sort of my bias combination when it comes to stories.

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary: 18/20

Minimal in this section. I had/am still having a hard time understanding ‘bbangku ddongkus’. Other than that, all are almost perfect but with a few slip ups here and there. I will take those as carelessness.

Characterizations: 6/10

With Yoon Hee being the only girl in the whole story, and me being a fangirl of SHINee, it was easy to differentiate them. However, I couldn’t really get a clear image of how they look like. I obviously know how the boys look like, but I have no clue on how Yoon Hee looked like. While I was painting the whole storyline in my brain, Yoon Hee’s shadow has a big question mark on it.

Writing Style: 8/10

I absolutely love your writing style. Firstly, it’s not in script form. Secondly, the sentences are easy to understand. Thirdly, I like the dividers. But I wish that you had painted a setting instead of having me making assumptions.

Overall Enjoyment: 5/5

I really enjoyed your story! I read it twice, I think. Though it could be more.

Total: 80/100

And your grade falls under the ‘Keep It Up!’ category. Well done! *claps & cheers* I’m sorry that you didn’t get full marks on any section, other than the Overall Enjoyment one. I personally believe that there’s no such thing as perfection when it comes to writing. All you have to do now is improve on your characterization, and settings too! =)