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lemonswirls
reviews
Greetings from Sensei/chibi_yennie! ^-^
Saturday, July 23, 2011 @ 10:44 PM




Introduction
(Copy and pasted from my staff member profile, because I'm extremely indolent at the moment.)



Name: Sensei/chibi_yennie
Title: Reviewer
About Me: Howdy! How’s fishin’? Ha-ha! ^-^ The name is Duyen, pronounced as “Yen” but please don’t call me by my name since it makes me uncomfortable and mainly because I don’t like it. I go by either Sensei on AFF, Winglin, and at other 7-8 websites I work at or chibi_yennie on Live Journal and Soompi. I own and co-own ‘Before You Go’ a new request site and ‘Dvyrus’ another new request site. I’m Vietnamese-American and I do have Chinese blood in me. I was born and raised in Texas, hence my Texan greeting. I’ve been a fan of k-pop since 2007 (I was eleven back then?), so since then I’ve been writing and reviewing for 4-5 years already. My hobbies are reading, writing, and graphic designing. I do not make very good first impressions due to my snarky remarks and cynical appearance. So, I apologize in advance if I come off as a douche to you…Lmao. I am a very strict reviewer and I will always find something that I don’t like in a work of fiction. I reviewed over forty fan fictions and I never once gave a score higher than a 75. Please understand that if you request from me, your review is going to be very specific and detailed with constructive criticism. I have an acumen eye; especially with grammar and vocabulary (please edit your errors before requesting from me). Also, I hope that my reviews will help you in future fan fictions, not lower your self-esteem (I’ve already cause over six authors to quiet writing >_>).


Other than that, please do request if you’re looking to improve your writing!


Biases/Favorite Artists: Yunho, Changmin - DBSK; Jaejoong, Yoochun, Junsu - JYJ; Woohyun, Myungsoo, Sungyeol - Infinite; Taeyeon, Sunny - SNSD; Jonghyun, Jinki/Onew - SHINee;
Fanfics: A STOLEN FIRST KISS | BOUND BY THE LAW | RAVENOUS TEMPTATIONS
Birthday: August 16


Review Rubric

Title:  -/5

Titles are extremely important to be mindful of. A reason to why titles are to be graded? It draws possible readers to gain interest and perform the action of actually reading the story if the title is desirable. In other words, be sure that your choice of wording is understandable and unique, nothing too cliche that drives readers away. If you expect to receive full points in this criteria, please make sure your title appeals to the readers, yet matches the concept of the work of fiction. 

Description/Forewords: -/10

The most important thing to show concern for is your description. In your description, you never, ever place your author's note (if I see an author's note pasted in the description, points will automatically be deducted, no exceptions). The description is there to give readers an insight on what your work of fiction is about. Usually, actually frequently when a possible reader scouts for a new fan fiction to read, they glance at the title and the description. If your description is filled with unnecessary discourse, the reader will move on and not even give your work of fiction another glance. The best way to write your description is inserting the plot summary of your story, giving the reader a nice brief explanation on what to expect without revealing too much.

Now, for your forewords may include character profiles, teasers, prologue, and/or author notes. I honestly don't give too much attention/concern for this section, mainly because other than the character profiles and possible prologues, I don't really acknowledge it's significance. So, if you don't have much information in the forewords besides the character profiles and prologue, I will not deduct points. 

*Extra- I am incredibly strict concerning character profiles. Okay, the thing about character profiles is that there will always be people who write a sentence or two about the character. Honestly, a character profile is the background/history about the character and what happens before certain events that occur later on throughout the work of fiction. I’m not saying that a character profile has to be a page long but have at least four to five sentences about the character, something to give a reader a general idea about the characters’ personality, where they’re from and etc.

Poster/Background/Color Format/ Text: -/10

The poster is not particularly mandatory to have, but it does attract readers to read your work of fiction. If (in most cases) you have a graphic representation of your fan fiction, it is mandatory that it portrays the theme(s) and/or mood(s) of your work of fiction well. I will not deduct points in this criteria if you don't have a poster, but I highly recommend that you request from one of our diligent and talented graphic designers @ Lemonswirls!

For the background, to be honest I could careless about this section. If your background matched well with your graphic representation, (that matches well with the theme(s) and/or moods of your work of fiction) I will not be so crude in this area. However, if you choose a gif format type of background or a picture that could look like a magazine collage along the margins of your story, points will automatically be deducted.

I usually don't have any issues regarding color formats of a work of fiction. Since majority of fan fictions I reviewed have the normal default black color (which I am extremely thankful for), however if you do happen to have neon or rainbow colors clogging your chapters that make it hard for me the readers to read, I'm sorry but points will be counted off. I absolutely loathe color formats that randomly are chosen to "feature" in certain chapters. If you want to receive full credit in this section, please choose a color format that won't give me iridescent hexagons to flood in my vision (because I will seriously have a seizure).

Plot: -/20

Without the plot, there is no general idea of your work of fiction. Everything, from beginning to the end relies on the plot and only the plot. The plot is where the reader witnesses what type of ideas and creativity the author conjures. I understand there are times when your plot may seem similar to other works of fiction and/or movies but it's how the author manipulates the direction and events of the plot, that the reader can understand and cope with throughout the entire fan fiction.

The word cliche isn't necessarily bad nor is it good. Possibly neutral? If your plot lacks originality and is a complete remake of most general romantic dramas, then I will deem your plot as banal rather than cliche. Why? Because no matter what you write, it will always be cliche. An author always finds inspiration from current events such as arranged marriages, the wealthy/the poor, divorce, murder, abortion, etc. Everything people write about is related toward the current events we humans see in our everyday lives in society. In other words, your work of fiction can never be deemed as cliche because honestly to me, that seems a little hypocritical for someone to judge a fan fiction like that. *Unless you completely plagiarized another author's work of fiction, then yes I will not only proclaim your fan fiction as cliche, but a failure of literature.

Flow: -/10

The flow of your work of fiction is very important. Your goal is to sustain a good pace and not rush toward the end of your fan fiction. Be very, very mindful of your readers. Be as detailed as possible on the characters' progression throughout the work of fiction, especially with their feelings. If you feel as if your flow is fast paced and doesn't match with the flow of previous chapters, look at your readers' feedback and re-read your updates. Make sure they make sense!


Now, I always have to mention this every time to an author whenever I review a fan fiction. Whether it’s in first, second, or third person point of view, it is mandatory that you describe the character’s feelings. You have to understand that you must allow the reader to cope and almost feel the emotions the character is feeling. Otherwise, you’re story is proclaimed as an inconsiderate work of fiction.  


Writing style: -/10

This criteria is where most of the constructive criticism lies. Your writing style is what I will judge based on how experienced you are in literature. I completely understand that everyone has a different style of writing, but that's no excuse to frequently change point of views and/or claim a sentence or two as a paragraph. I am positive that majority of authors that write fan fictions are at least eleven or older. In school you learn basic formatting of sentences and how they should be put in paragraphs, correct? Then please use the skills you learned from school in the fan fiction world.

Another thing to be concerned of is details. Understand that you have to be very mindful of your readers, you want them to connect to the story and little details could make your writing appeal more and actually have meaning besides just stating what occurs. It helps out a lot if you describe their surroundings and use some similes such as ‘like’ or ‘as’. Just a suggestion to be concerned about before requesting a review from me.

Spelling/grammar/vocabulary: -/15


I don't know why, but this criteria is always marked low. I mean doesn't Microsoft/Word Pad (or any other software you use to write) have a spelling check there for you? Please make sure your grammar/spelling/vocabulary is concise, because it honestly makes a reader frustrated at seeing the same mistakes repeatedly. You could also quit being indolent with your mistakes and re-read your updates before posting them and/or, you can request a beta.

Characterization: -/15

Characterization is where I will not hesitate to claim your characters as cliche. Especially if it is a YOU fan fiction, I will definitely deduct points if you make the main female protagonist undeniably perfect or gruesomely pathetic. Find the perfect personality and/or role for your character. Make them appealing toward your readers, even if the readers loathe how they act or react toward certain events throughout your story. Feel what your characters feel, see what they see. In other words know what it's like in their shoes, then you'll be heading somewhere in your work of fiction.


Overall enjoyment/bonus: -/5

Well, I'm assuming you already know what I'm looking for in this section. I will either give you zero points or the full five points for this section, nothing in between. It's a basic question really, it's either I enjoyed it and I will be expecting more of your works in the near future or it was a complete waste of my time and I honestly would try to delete the work of fiction from my memory.

Total: -/100

*~*

A big thanks for Angela for accepting me as a part of the staff! I'm very grateful to work at another amazing site where fans of k-pop can gather and communicate ^-^! I hope I wasn't too blunt or rude with my review criteria, because I'm really tolerable to talk with x3 *Does Woohyun's fail!aegyo* I'm cute aren't I? Lmao :)


Lately, Infinite has been my latest addiction. I mean, who could resist Woohyun & Myungsoo? the boys? They are undeniably handsome/hot/cute/sexy and just WOW x3 You have no idea how much I've died and went to heaven because of them. Just, WOW. </3333