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A SHINing Ray of Light Reviewed By: ZE:A's

Thursday, March 17, 2011 @ 5:28 PM

Title: A SHINing Ray of Light

Author: Loveasdeepasthestars

Story URL: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/22380/a-shining-ray-of-light-jonghyun-key-minho-onew-romance-shinee-taemin/18

Reviewer: ZE:A's

Title: 4/5

The title seems alright. I can see that it is connected to the story, I really liked it. When I read the title I felt like reading the foreword and the chapters, just straight away. I was wondering what will happen to the story, which is overall pretty good.

Poster/Background: 5/10

I gave you this half a mark because the poster didn’t quite much match the story. The poster says “A never ending darkness…” and in the poster there is nothing dark colour or any dark feelings included in the poster. “Let me be your eyes…” maybe there should be something mysterious kind of pictures in the poster. Make it mysterious and dark. The title “A SHINing Ray of Light” was good tho, it was dark and somehow… I liked the heading: D

Description/Foreword: 7/10

Nicely done description, but instead of writing “Blackness…” write “When everything that you knew suddenly turned dark.” Or “blank.” Or “Black”. The others are just fine for me. The foreword about Eli the girl was well described. Why can’t you just write “Eli who is a normal American teenage girl.” You also use ( - ) too much when you don’t need to, but I did sure love your author’s note. You sure write funny, your Author’s note made me laugh a lot.

Plot: 10/15

I loved your plot; the first chapter is always not good right? But as I kept on reading I really got into your story, chapter by chapter. I really loved it so much. The first chapter was pretty much obvious, when I kept on reading ‘Tumor’ but it was sad at the same that she couldn’t see at her age of 17. “Annyounghaseyo! Urineun SHINee Imnida.” Instead of what you wrote in chapter three. You wrote “Isseubnida” or something (gave me a hard time to understand that Romanisation) but that’s a wrong way of saying it. But I sure loved the part where she was screaming out the words without a break. Also, the girl seems lucky in chapter fifteen your recent chapter where she is going country tour with SHINee.

Creativity/Originality: 13/15

I never read a fan fiction like this before, maybe because I try to not read sad fan fictions because I can’t stand them, but you have to know that I read a lot of ‘Tumor’ getting sick and those stuffs a lot in the story. Even meeting SHINee is the same thing, there are a lot of fan fictions about meeting SHINee, but you wrote it in a whole lot different way so that was fine to me. I loved it.

Flow: 10/10

Eventho, you’re not finished with your story, the flow of your fan fiction is really good. There are no fast forewords or lack of time or anything like that. It is well-done, long as always, I just love how it is now. In that short time you described all your characters in the story, I’m waiting for more~

Spelling/Grammar/Vocab: 8/10

There were less mistakes in the story, I couldn’t spot any, well… all I could spot was the Korean Romanisation ones, which they are somehow spelt wrong or like “Isseubnida” those wrong way of spelling the words. It’s better writing all in English if you’re not that familiar with the Korean Romanisation. The ones I corrected in the description and the plot, and anywhere else. You just need to fix that and it’ll be fine.

Characterisation: 10/10

As I said, you have described the characters well, I understood them well especially the main character Eli, the girl. I especially know a lot about her now, but as I see in the picture of the poster of Eli, it sort of made me confused at the same time, maybe should get a sadder picture of Eli or something? Then I would totally understand that and of how she looks in the story. Describing SHINee was pretty good.

Writing Style: 9/10

Yes, I totally loved your writing style. I love that font which I sometime use it as well, it is neat and long and I love long chaptered stories than short chaptered so, it’s fine. Not too small or not too big, it’s just fine and well-done writing style.

Overall Enjoyment: 4/5

Yes, I pretty much enjoyed reading your story. I think I pretty much said it on the plot, which I said… that I like the part where she talks without breathing and when she was about to close the door infront of SHINee’s face. I can so imagine their face when Eli does that.

Extra: 2/5

Because I love SHINee. Especially the cutey-pie Taemin.

Total: 82/105

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YAY! My first request done :D Hey, hey, hey!

I finally arrived Korea and at my place :) i was done reading ages ago, just had to write the review. haha xD

I was so excited reading that story :D and would loved to subscribe to it (no lies) i'm serious. haha xD ohh wells...

The best thing is later on, i'm going to go meet ZE:A!

I'm so excited haha xD you know, i'm still with my Jaejoong hairstyle (FML) with chocolate brown coloured hair. But, oh wells... I know ZE:A will love it. LOLS XD

Argh! xD XD I missed out going to Mnet Countdown!

wells I was on the plane ofcourse (cries) but I saw it on the net -_- after I got home. Haha xD since I can't wait to re-watch on the TV. i'll re-watch later on TV as well :D

Anyways, that's it for now :D ready to take lotta pictures of ZE:A ~ woohoo xD

Have a nice day everyone !

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