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Review: "Oh My Genie"

Thursday, April 21, 2011 @ 5:31 AM

Title: "Oh My Genie"
Author: graceann
Story URL: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/6083/oh-my-genie-jessicajung-jokwon-kyuhyun-you
Reviewer: ll0vex3_her

Title: 2/5

Basically, I understand how you got this title from. However, the mood doesn't matches with the whole story. Basically, such a title really won't be something that will attracts my attention at all.

Poster(If there is one): 11/15

I really really love that poster! Its so matching to the whole theme of the story and everything! Really, I love the black, grey and white. Kyuhyun and the OC look so matching in the poster!

Description: /10

Hm, there was no description, which was quite bad since without a description, I won't have an idea of how your story is about. That's why a description is a must for me. Anyway, don't worry, I won't count the marks in.

Forward: /10

None, which again frustrates me. I'm not your genie, I don't know your mind! Do you mind at least placing something connected to the story there so that I will have an idea of how your story goes? Anyway, don't worry, I won't count the marks in.

Character descriptions (only if have one): 4/10

Well, its basically NOT ok. A character description is something for you to describe the characters. However, you described your story through you character description. Really, then what's the need for forward and description?!

Plot: 15/45

Well, that plot was something unique enough for me. Nice, its basically and overall ok. Technically, the whole forbidden love thingy really doesn't surprises me, its just that it was a love between a human and a genie that well, caught my attention. A story I never read.

Writing: 14/40

Your writing was something that really disappointed me. Your writing has no feel to it, I can't feel the mood or anything. Its like you were just summerising about what happened, I don't even understand the inside story! The whole writing is making me very very confused at some times. Its like you jumped scenes.

Your story seems rushed. Kyuhyun loves Jessica, there will be NO, absolutely NO reason why he will have feelings for the genie so fast, like just a few meetings after, no matter how pretty she is. That is not love at first sight with his heart filled with another girl, all you're telling me is that Kyuhyun only goes for looks, not the characteristic. That kind of love sounds so fake, very very fake.

Spelling/grammar: 12/25
You're spelling and grammer should be counted as ok. And please try to reread your own sentences first before posting. They sound weird and unconnected.

Mistake: What if you're a genie that will fall in love to a human being?
Correction: What if you're a genie that fell in love with a human being?

Explanation: past-presence tense and you don't fall to a human being, you either fell/fall for or fell/fall in

Chapter titles (only if have titles): 4/10
Your chapter title's ain't any special or anything. Or to say, it's somehow obvious and boring. However, its somewhat ok.

Ending (only if completed): 7/20
Well, the ending wasn't something that really caught my attention. To tell the truft, even before reading halfway of your story, I was already bored by it because of your writing. And your ending seems to be rushed, like you didn't know how to end it so you just ended it with whatever you have in your mind. I have this problems too. I would say, if you really don't know how to end, then don't write for that day. Wait until you really got an idea on how to end it nicely, then update the ending.

To tell the truft, the whole ending totally sucked.

1. NO EMOTIONS

2. CAUSES CONFUSION

3. RUSHED

Rated scenes (only if rated): /10

None, don't worry, I won't count the marks in.

Total: 69/170
Criteria: C

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