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For PrincessSeoul (Fanfic Review)

Friday, April 1, 2011 @ 9:39 PM

Title: The Story of a Fangirl
Author: PrincessSeoul
Reviewer: Maria
Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/26403/the-story-of-a-fangirl-comedy-donghae-eunhyuk-romance-superjunior

Review's note: Before you read on, i just want to let you know, atm im not in a great mood. Depression? Maybe...but please bare with me. It might sound bitchy and all, forgive me for that but i just tried to do my best for you. P,S no i am not PMSing...just something to do with my school friends D:

Title: 3/5
The title is really simple and straight to the point. I'm not in the right possition to judge a story by its title but something about it makes me feel 'unattracted' to the story. Maybe it's simply because i just don't seem to like these type of stories? It does however have something to do with the story and it does grab your attention. Overall, the title is adequete.

Forward: 3/5
It has nothing to do with the story but it just doesn't seem to catch my attention. More will explain this reason in the 'writing' category but for now, the forward just doesn't seem that interesting and exciting. It's written well and neat, but doesn't give off that 'wow, im really going to love this story...' impression. Just that plain, regular types of stories. Overall, the forward is neat.

Description: 2/5
The forward is the same thing. It's neat and all, explained very well yet it just doesn't seem to catch my attention and make me want to say 'Wow...i totes love this'. I guess you can say quite cliche. I've came across many fanfics like yours. Where a fan falls in love with the star and the star falls for the fan as well but like i always say, there is nothing wrong with cliche. If you can work it good, then the story will turn out good as well. The way you write 'This is the story about a fangirl who found her true love through a video on Youtube.' just doesn't seem to catch onto me. Not saying i don't understand it, just doesn't attract me to the story. Overall, the description is alright.

Graphics/pictures: 10/10
I really like the poster that is made. It is made well, the colours are somewhat calm yet matches that 'bubbliness' and compliments the story's genre well. However i'm not sure if you want me to imagine the Asian girl to be Spanish-American because it just doesn't seem like that. Overall, the poster is beautiful.

Plot: 15/20
I like the plot. Its cute and simple, very fun as well and somewhat kind of realistic (cutting the meeting parts and being in the same house and all). You wouldn't say it's interesting though. Almost predictable you could say but a classic. The story is also flowing at a good pace (which is good) and well sorted out. Overall, the plot is going well.

Writing: 14/20
I'll be honest with you, the way you write isn't the type i would love to read. I don't know, maybe its because i'm such an emo these days but something about your writing doesn't seem to attract me. NAH IM JUST JOKING LOL!! You actually got a 17/20 for this part LOLOL. DID I SCARE YOU??! :D LOL excuse me LOL continuing with review-
Writing: 17/20
I like the way you write. People know what's going on in different perspectives even though its only written on third point of view? Anyways, it kind of reminds me of myself, my own type of writing and i was actually shocked at first to read this. Scarily reminded it of me. But your writing seems...unnatural? Like its not very easily believable and it just makes me want to rip my hair up in frustration. Don't worry, i guess its not a problem you can solve, i just need to stop being such a sook and bitchy D: Overall, your writing is good.

Spelling/grammar: 13/15
Your spelling and grammar are mostly correct and not much wrong is inside it. Overall, your spelling and grammar is satisfactory.

Ending: -/5
I will not be marking this area as your fanfiction is not completed yet.

Rated scenes: -/5
I will not be marking this area as you do not have any rated scenes.

Format: 7/10
I like the way you present your writing. It is clear and catches my eyes, doesn't bored it as well and like i said before, your writing style reminds me of mine. But when you end a chapter, maybeat least leave a space between the author's note and story because it gets confusing ^^ Overall, the format is good.

Overall: 70/90
78%

Some words of ~~wisdom~~ advice
Your fanfic is going well but i think you can still improve on different areas. I'm sorry if the review sounded bitchy...LOL i'm kinda in a bitchy mood atm LOL that's why =.='' Like i said before, your writing reminds me of mine and yeah...i can't really judge from there ^^ (that'll make me look like a stuck up person but if i say my writing sucks, its saying your does too so...)
LOL i'm sorry this was abit delayed...=.=''
Lately these days, i don't find myself in happiness...
Thanks for choosing me to review FIGHTING XDXD

REVIEW BY MARIA @ LEMONSWIRLS

LOVE MARIA <3333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

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