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Hello~ AppleEyed^^ (fanfic review)

Saturday, February 5, 2011 @ 9:57 PM

Title: Your Love is my Desire.. {Three-Shot}
Author: AppleEyed
Reviewer: Maria
Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/19118/your-love-is-my-desire-three-shot-gain-jokwongain-kwon-romance-threeshot

Title: 5/5

The title was simple and inviting. It was straight to the point and well written. It made me want to find out more about the story and very motivating. Overall, the title was great.

Description: -/10

I will not mark this area as you did not have a description.

Forward: -/10

I will not mark this area as you did not have a forward.

Graphics/pictures: 9/10

The graphics and pictures were clean and simple. It also had something to do with the story and gave me a small image in my head while i was reading. I could almost picture their expressions and how it would've being like in their situation. I liked the way some pictures appeared in the middle of the chapters, explaining and showing a small picture to us. Overall, the graphics and pictures were awesome.

Character description: -/10

I will not mark this as you did not have a character description.

Author's note: 4/5

The author's notes were inviting and you were explaining to the readers some parts that may have being confusing, which is good because it shows you care about what the readers think. You wrote small words to motivate people to comment and subscribe which is very warm. Overall, the author's notes were good.

Plot: 30/35

The plot was simple and straight to the point even though it was kind of expectant. I liked the plot because it was also sweet and very emotional and proved that a tv show can make two people fall in love. Even if the show was about marriage, it showed very great deal that sometimes people want it to be real (sorry if it didn't make sense...my mind is dead...-_-'') Overall, the plot was sweet.

Writing: 32/35

Your writing technique is very unique and makes me want to continue reading the story. However, it does sometimes get repetitive when you say what they are feeling inside their minds and sometimes it doesn't need to be there. The way he and she says goodbye to each other inside the mind gets repetitive sometimes and i attend to skip those parts. But your writing style are like those few people in the world who capture people's eyes and mind, sinking them into the story and when the story ends, we beg and crave for more of the writing (lol...my mind is dead again...^^). I was very impressed and eager to read it. Overall, the writing was brilliant.

Spelling/grammar: 26/30

Most of your spelling was correct but there was still an amount of tense errors. An example is 'the PD can't speak for awhile'. The 'can't' part is present tense but i think the story was written in past tense. So instead of 'can't' it should've being 'couldn't' and the tense sometimes went back and forth, confusing me a bit. But i did get the tense at the end and read it successfully. But most of the spelling was written correctly and was easy to read. Overall, the spelling and grammar was adequete.

Chapter titles: 9/10

The chapter titles were nice and very sweet and somewhat 'smart'. It was interesting and made me want to read it more. It described the chapter very well and didn't give off too much about the future chapter. Just one small problem, sometimes the chapter titles were the same, confusing me a bit until i read on, but it wasn't a huge deal so don't worry too much about it. Overall, the chapter titles were inspirational.

Ending: 19/20

I thought the ending was very sweet and made me tear up abit in happiness. They were finally together, also adding on some slight smut. I loved the way you ended it with Changmin (it was Changmin right? cause it was 3rd POV...hard to know) and Narsha all happy about Kwon and Gain. It was really a nice ending. I was happy with it. Overall, the ending was great.

Rated scenes: -/10

I will not mark this part as this is not a rated story.

Format: 10/10

The format was clean and simple. It was very clear and easy to read and did not bore my eyes. Overall, the format was excellent.

Total: 144/160
90%...i hope its right...>< If not, please tell me..><
I really needa brush up my maths knowledge...^^

Aww thankies dears...^^

And i have never seen so much uncooked ramen on someone's head in my life. UNITL I MET YOU...>:D ~~Why is taemin always mean to me??~~

Oh shoot!! *hides behind tree*

Some words of ~~wisdom~~ advice
I think this story was very interesting and sweet. Made me tear up several times and sometimes got me frustrated (in a good way...;))
You did pretty well in this story and i would read it again...^^
Some things to consider when writing stories...
- not to expand too much on thier mind talking...can get people irritated and sometimes board.
- nothing else lololol...^^
There isn't much to say except this story was pretty good...^^
I like it alot...FIGHITNG ON YOUR FUTURE CHAPTERS...XDXD
AND I HOPE I WASN'T TO HARSH...XDXD

'Lemonswirls, a place where even Heechul can't resist'

Sourly entoxicating...>:)

LOVE MARIA... <333333333

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