☀ l e m o n swirls → reviews!

To dear katastrophick (fanfic review)

Friday, March 4, 2011 @ 9:28 PM

Title: Live and Let Live
Author: katastrophick
Reviewer: Maria
Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/24799/live-and-let-live-drama-friendship-ljoe-schoollife-teentop-you

Title: 1/5

The title is confusing in some ways. I don't get what the meaning is and honestly not very attractive. I would understand if it was 'Live your Life' or 'Live or Die (cliche i know..><)' but i don't understand the concept of the title. Maybe if you explain it to me, it might make sense? Or maybe this title is very deep and i can't seem to catch on. If i was judging this book by its title, i would've ignored this story because the title doesn't make much sense but it is somewhat interesting. The title is unique.

Description: 3/5

The description is slightly cliche in some forms. I've heard of many beginnings like that; introducing the character's personality and all, but it just doesn't catch my attention. I like it in some ways because it's well summed up but slighty giving that feeling of clicheness (nothing wrong with cliche though, just not that interesting). Gives off a 'classic' feeling. The description is acceptable.

Foward: 4/5

I actually enjoyed the forward. It was well written and interesting, but it was slighty predictable. Something like 'he turned cold and i wana know why and in the end we're together' feeling is given off from it but like i said before, sounds like a good, classic romance story. Overall, the forward is good.

Graphics/pictures: -/10

I will not mark this as you do not have more than 2 pictures at least or a poster.

Plot: 15/20

Its so far going really well and interesting. Who would ever know that CAP could be the bad guy here? At first it was sort of boring in someways but then as i read on, it got more interesting. Still developing so i can't really give full marks on here. Keep up the good work the story plot is going well. The plot is super.

Writing: 15/20

Your writing is good but still needs some developing. Just a few more weeks or days or months and you're writing will be perfect. There isn't much to say about your writing. Maybe expand it slighty more in some cases and in other cases, cut out the parts that aren't important? But there is no problem with your writing.

Its quite normal and interesting. And also i just find that some of the chapters are quite short, which upsets me abit but as i read on the other chapters, you're starting to write and expand more, which is a good sign saying you're improving your writing.The writing is well-written.

Spelling/grammar: 14/15

There aren't any mistakes in the spelling or grammar. Just some awkward phrasing that can't really be fixed unless you keep on reading the sentence over and over again. It seems like it was well-edited in some ways, or your spelling is really good. Your spelling and grammar are perfect.

Ending: -/5

I will not mark this as you do not have an ending.

Rated scenes: -/5

I will not mark this as this is not a rated fic or has rated scenes.

Format: 5/10

Your format isn't the most attractive thing in the world. It's quite plain and doesn't catch the eyes much. The huge chunks of writing really hurts and boreds my eyes so maybe you should separate it into different parts. Then again, i really hate that font so i can't really argue about that. I don't think this is written in first person so i can't say anything about the POVs. Overall, the format is satisfactory.

Total: 57/80
71% (its right i know)

Some words of ~~wisdom~~ advice
I would label this story as a 'classic' at first but as the story progresses, it turns into a 'mystery/angst/romance' type. This i must say really is decieving in so many ways.
At first, i was thinking 'oh...another love story..' but then after i read on, it was getting better and better.
I'm really happy to see your writing is improving and i hope you will continue to write more like that in the future.
Just consider while writing
- The title won't be as deep meaning as this one
- Expand some of your writing while cutting out the parts you don't need.
- Try to keep away from awkward phrasing.
- Just keep on doing what you're doing now!
I know you'll be a great writer and i really hope for the best for you.
Don't know some stuff? Talk to me :D

Maria's Words
AHHHHHH IM SORRY IF THAT SOUNDED HARSH...XDXD
I tried my best to keep the offending low but if you're not happy with it, ill be happy to do it again for you..><
Keep up your great work, your writing is really good and improving in a good way.
If you were my daughter, i would be very proud of you at the moment.
FIGHTING...XDXD
P.S...talk to me if you don't understand...;D

REVIEW BY MARIA @ LEMONSWIRLS

Theehhehehhe...i made that yo..><
Post it up anywhere you wana...;D

LOVE MARIA <333333333333333333333333333333

Back to the top~