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To my dear nikatsu (fanfic review)

Friday, March 4, 2011 @ 2:22 PM

Title: A Perfect Day For A Love Declaration
Author: nikatsu
Reviewer: Maria
Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/21848/28/a-perfect-day-for-a-love-declaration-changmin-changyoon-dbsk-snsd-yoona-yoonmin

Title: 2/5

The title is clean and makes sense, also has something to do with the story yet it doesn't honestly grab me onto the story in first glance. If i was the type of person who judges the book by its cover, i honestly would've went pass this story.

It's sweet though in some way but you wouldn't really say interesting. I'm not going to say what titles are good or not because that is up to the author what they want it to call it. It isn't a bad title, just a bit uninteresting and giving off that feeling 'been there, read that'. A satisfactory title.

Forward: 3/5

If you're looking at AFF directly (like the most recent updated fics), than the description wasn't really properly telling what the story is about (If you don't get what i'm talking about, ask me.) making some people ignore that. The title isn't really helping others to come and read it and the forward isn't supporting it.

The title can't tell the whole story. But if you look directly at the story (clicked on it etc) than the forward if pretty well written. It excited me to first read the forward, i really wanted to know more about the story and like i said before, well written. Yet again, not the most interesting thing in the world. Didn't make a huge 'woah...this is like a new style' impression. A good forward.

Description: -/5

Since there is no description, i will not mark this area.

Graphics/pictures: 7/10

The graphic was well created and showed the characters in a really good way. It gave me an image of how they would look like. Quite simple and clean and somewhat catches my eyes. Yet again, its not exciting. Its pretty and well made but doesn't give off that 'wow...new thing'. Like a good story, normal, it gives off that type of feeling. The graphics are beautiful.

Plot: 16/20

The plot was quite predictive and you could sort of know what would or might happen in the end. But different circumstanced during the fic made it more interesting and what i would've expected was totally gone. I really like the plot; its quite well organised and makes sense. Flows well and isn't jumped onto one place to the other. Easy to understand and not too complicated. The plot is wonderful.

Writing: 20/20

I thought the way you wrote was impressive. It's well revised, quite detailed and descriptive in some ways. Its also quite clean and all i could say is that you're a great writer. Nothing much to say about your writing except it was very impressive and exceptional. Your writing is perfect.

Spelling/grammar: 14/15

Your spelling and grammar are very well revised. I didn't see much mistakes so not much problem there and your grammar and tenses were mostly right as well. Nothing much to say here either except your spelling and grammar skills are a high standard. Your spelling and grammar is impressive.

Ending: 5/5

The ending was well written and i was pretty happy with that. It was sweet and i loved it how Key proposed to Yeonhee and Yuri loves Minho and to know that they have a cute child together. Definately a wonderful ending and nothing more to say about that. The ending is sweet.

Rated scenes: -/5

I will not mark this as you do not have any rated scenes.

Format: 4/10

I wasn't exceptionally happy with the format but it was satisfactory. I got confused when the POVs will change and i would sometimes wonder who was speaking during that time. Maybe adding POV changing indications might help. Also in some cases, the writing would be in huge chunks and it would bored my eyes out (maybe its just me, i don't really like that font when it comes to descriptive writing). The format is okay.

Total: 71/90
79% (i improved my maths ><)

Some words of ~~wisdom~~ advice
I must say, this is one of the best stories i have ever reviewed. Just the somewhat 'plain' feeling brought it down and the format as well. Maybe next time you should consider
- writing POV changing indications (like Changmin POV)
- Your writing is perfect; just keep on writing like that...;D
- when it comes to the title and forward, try to make it attractive more (not saying it isn't, so people who judges the book by its cover can be interested on it.)
- its too straight to the point, confusing at some stages. Try to expand it by explaining what sort of happened before what you wrote (confusing i know...talk to me if you don't get it...:D)

But like i said before, you're a really good writer and i was really impressed with this story. After reading that story, i ship Yoona x Changmin now.
A great fic and a great writer!

Maria's words
OMGSH IM REALLY SORRY IF IT SOUNDED HARSH...XDXD
LKSDBLKSBFKDBSLBSDL
MY MY IM NOT USED TO THIS...IM TOO SCARED...XDXD
LOLOL...i hope you're happy with the review...;D
If not, i can re-do one for you again...:D
don't get what i said in some circumstances?
Talk to me :D

REVIEW BY MARIA @ LEMONSWIRLS

LOLOL...it looks weird yeah??..;D
thehhehehe...i tried ><

LOVE MARIA <3333333333333333333333

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